self-care

Black Wellness Matters

by

The casual way George Floyd was murdered adds to the horror of it. The rawness of it. It was pure bloodlust. The police officer extinguished Floyd’s last breath in a way that seemed so mundane to him. As if he were wringing out a sponge after doing dishes. That’s the coldness of a serial killer. That’s the end result of systemic racism — going back to when Black people were enslaved in this country.

We were considered property, not human beings, so the owners could do whatever they wanted to a Black person’s body with no consequences. Think about all the permutations of what that meant over generations. Our bodies were not our own.

Seeing the video of Floyd’s murder on repeat is such a painful blow to our collective and individual spirits. For Black people especially, it’s been a tough few weeks. It’s been a tough year. It’s been a tough few hundred years.

I’ve felt hurt. Angry. Sad. And have been meditating more than ever, as a way to stop thinking about the current reality for a bit and gather myself.

Recently, I heard the word remember broken down —  “re” and “member.” Meaning to put oneself together again. I found meditation through taking yoga classes and find both perfect ways to center myself and gather strength. To remember myself.

Yoga is such a powerful tool for wellness. The term wellness gets thrown around a lot and seems to have different meanings to some. The World Health Organization glossary defines it as follows.

Wellness is the optimal state of health of individuals and groups. There are two focal concerns: the realisation of the fullest potential of an individual physically, psychologically, socially, spiritually and economically, and the fulfilment of one’s role expectations in the family, community, place of worship, workplace and other settings.

Wellness moves beyond physical health to become more holistic and include every aspect of being human. In order to achieve wellness, especially as Black people, we also must heal the wounds of racism. Not just current racism, but intergenerational racism that traumatized our ancestors.

Our ancestors found ways to cope within a racist society and passed down those coping mechanisms to their children. Their children did the same and the cycle repeats. Those of us on journeys of healing are becoming more conscious of the ways that racism has caused us harm.

Meditation allows us to go deep and start reckoning with how to move forward and deal with things differently. Like most Black people, I have dealt with racism in the past and obviously continue dealing with it now.

At the end of last year, I reached a tipping point. I only have so much time and energy and dealing with racism is exhausting. It wears you down. As a Black woman, dealing with sexism on top of it is even more exhausting. In the past, I have let a lot of things go. One particular incident in the past, I regret not having addressed head on.

During law school, I had a co-op at a law firm here in Boston. I loved the work I was doing — ironically enough, researching property and land use. My supervisors were happy with my work too and wanted me to interview for an associate position. I had never intended to take the traditional law firm route, but I was interested.

Very soon after hearing this news, one of the white male attorneys at the firm, not anyone that I had worked with directly, made an off-hand comment to me about how affirmative action hires aren’t qualified. I would have only been the second Black woman attorney at the firm.

I was so shocked – like a deer in headlights. I don’t remember if I said anything back to him. I ended up not working at the firm, which no longer exists, but I didn’t tell any of my supervisors about what happened. Nor did I mention it to anyone in the school administration until much later.

Another incident happened on a different co-op that I also never mentioned to anyone. I was treated to a nice lunch celebrating the end of my co-op. I was the only woman and the only Black person in our small group. One of the men was talking about working in Africa, then casually mentioned all the sex he had while there. They all laughed. I was so uncomfortable. I don’t know that any of them noticed or cared about how the statement might have impacted me. These incidents were back in the mid-90s, but I still remember how I felt.

Late last summer, I was at a small public lecture. During the talk, I was rather dramatically singled out for being the only Black person there. I couldn’t believe it. I was like a deer in headlights — again. I didn’t say anything to anyone while I was there, but kept thinking about it. I only told a few people afterwards and was still upset.

A few months later, I was working on a new project and there was an incident where training for new employees went awry with a racist statement during the presentation. I wasn’t there, but learned of it after an email went out apologizing to everyone for the incident and strongly denouncing it. It was addressed right away and the way things played out, it made me wonder if I should say something about what happened to me at the lecture. Maybe I needed to give them a chance to do better.

I decided to say something. Maybe the organization would make some changes and nothing like this would happen to anyone else. At the very least, I wouldn’t have the ongoing regret that I didn’t say anything.

On a Friday night, I sent a very detailed email to the organization and heard back by early the next  morning. They apologized profusely and I later spoke with leadership about my experience. Training was going to be implemented along with other changes in their organization.

These experiences I’m sharing here are just the tiniest amounts of racism that I’ve dealt with in my life. I’ve been spit on and called the N word. If I reacted to everything all the time, it would take up too much of my life. That’s the same for most Black people. We just want to live our lives like anyone else. We want to rest like Breonna Taylor. We want to go jogging like Ahmaud Arbery. We just want to live and enjoy wellness.

Hopefully, sharing my experiences here might help someone see things from a new perspective. Even if it’s only one person, that’s enough. Black lives matter and I’ve been sharing mine by blogging since 2006. Being a blogger has coincided with finding yoga and meditation. I’ve learned to focus on my breath and how it’s something I can always depend on.

Back in 2009, I first learned about free yoga classes being offered in Boston and wanted to make sure others knew about these wonderful resources. So I founded Free Yoga Boston, where I share information about free yoga classes and more. It’s all a continuing journey for me toward wellness. And Black wellness matters.

Finding Flour: Where & Why

by 2 Comments

Bread has been vital to human survival for more than 10,000 years. Flour combined with water makes a dough for cooking over a fire or baked in an oven. These simple ingredients have sustained people for a long time. That is to say, flour may subconsciously signal life. Now finding flour has become a national obsession.

Since the pandemic began, people seem to have latched onto the idea that having enough flour is essential. Even for people who never baked at home before, so it’s not particularly logical. But nevertheless, many have latched on so tightly to this idea, that there have been flour shortages in stores for months. People are baking like crazy.

In the age of COVID-19, in many ways we are literally in survival mode and behaving on instinct. There is something primal about flour. Maybe in our subconscious, we as a species know that if we have flour we can survive. Also kneading dough is soothing — like a meditation.

Over the last week especially, as police brutally killed Black people, it felt like an attack on my spirit. I’ve gasped for air and felt pain in my neck. It’s times like this that I need to find ways to stay calm. That familiar combination of flour and water brings me back to myself.

I’ve baked cinnamon bread, scones, cookies and cake. I had a decent amount of flour at home to begin with, but then started to run low and didn’t see all-purpose flour on store shelves for weeks, so I bought cake flour to tide me over.

Because I wasn’t sure how long this flour shortage would last, I decided that sourcing locally and online would be the best option and also help support local business. Thankfully I’m now well-stocked with flour.

Below is a list of New England area mills with freshly milled flour, cornmeal and more ready to ship directly to you!

+ + +

One Mighty Mill (Lynn, MA)

Ground Up Grain (Hadley, MA)

Maine Grains (Skowhegan, ME)

Gray’s Grist Mill (Westport, MA)

Plimoth Grist Mill (Plymouth, MA)

Kenyon’s Grist Mill (West Kingston, RI)

Make Your Own Reed Diffuser

by

reed diffuser

Being someone who appreciates food and an abundance of flavors, it’s no surprise that I have a strong sense of smell. I enjoy scented soaps, lotions, perfumes and often burn incense and scented candles.

A few months ago, I remember seeing some very pretty reed diffusers at a small pop-up shop. They were somewhat pricey and I wondered how well they actually worked. Would the scent really permeate my whole apartment like a candle or incense?

Then a few days ago, I saw an Instagram post with some simple instructions on how to make my own reed diffuser. I realized that I already had all the items necessary to make one. So why not give it a go?

About an hour ago, I made my own. It took about 15 minutes, which includes the time it took to empty a spice bottle and remove the label.

I probably used a little more than the recommended 25 drops of essential oil. Don’t! I shouldn’t have. I had removed the stopper from one of the bottles, so it spilled out. The smell is actually a bit too strong now.

Next time I’ll be more careful with measuring and will play around with the different scents. It does smell good though and will fade over time. Plus, I like the look of it.

This cost me nothing to make, because I already had everything at home, so I’m glad that I didn’t spend money buying one. The markup is incredible.

So if you like making things and already have most of the ingredients at home, do it yourself and save the $25 or more for something else. Below is what I used, based on the post from Wandering Wild Home.

+ + +

DIY Reed Diffuser

Small glass bottle with a smaller opening at the top – spice bottles work perfectly.
7  bamboo skewers
1/4 cup grape seed oil
2 T vodka – I only had vanilla vodka, but it worked fine.
25 drops of essential oil – I used 5 drops eucalyptus, 10 drops orange, about 12 drops vanilla.

Mix the oil and vodka in a tiny bowl. Then mix in the essential oils. Use a funnel to pour the mixture into the bottle. Put the skewers in and you’re done! Flip the reeds when you want a stronger smell.

Starting a Home Yoga Practice

by

home yoga

Most of us in the United States are home now in some sort of self-quarantine or self-isolation due to COVID-19. If we go out, we are practicing social distancing. All of this in order to flatten the curve and not overwhelm the health system.

Right now, things are quite dire in New York and cases of coronavirus illness and related deaths are growing all over the country. It’s one of the scariest times that many of us have ever experienced.

Most brick and mortar businesses are currently closed. Yoga studios have gone virtual in order to continue teaching students. Following along with online yoga classes is a great way to continue your yoga practice. During this uncertain moment in time, we especially need to find ways to practice self-care.

Yoga has been shown to help fight stress, so if you’ve never practiced before, this is a great time to try. If you normally attend yoga classes, continuing your practice at home may be helpful. If you haven’t been active at all recently, before starting a new exercise regimen, take due care and you may want to consult a doctor.

So once you decide to start a home yoga practice, how do you actually do it? I emailed and spoke with six Boston area yoga instructors to give us some tips. Hopefully you can takeaway a few of these suggestions and put them to good use!

+ + +

Ali Singer, Founder: Yoga Hub  (Boston, MA)

Make sure you’re doing something that you want to do. That it’s not a chore.

Pick a time of day that you can commit to so you won’t skip it.

Do the exact same postures or sequences every time. It gives you a framework for measurement. Otherwise you have no means of measuring yourself on a day to day basis. This way you can see how you change. Ashtanga yoga is the same series of poses over and over. Some people stay on this same series their whole life.

You can use a mirror to see that you’re stacking your joints correctly, but it can become a distraction if you’re looking for validation. It’s better to use video, so you can see if you are where you think you are in space.

Don’t hesitate to ask for help. Connect with yoga teachers that you may follow online. If you notice something on their social media feed and have a question, reach out and comment.

+ + +
For more yoga pointers from Ali, check out her free online course, which will be happening soon and will be updated here.

Ginette Mayas Samwel (Framingham, MA)

Clear space, clear mind. You need to project clarity in your thoughts, actions and space. It doesn’t have to be a big space at all, just clear.

Margie Kirstein, Founder: Yoga For The Spine (Dedham, MA)

I think people still need personal attention when starting a home yoga practice. One recommendation is to reach out to the studio where they were practicing to find out what style of yoga they were doing, if they want to keep doing that style. They could ask for suggestions if they want to try something different.

Also consider asking a yoga teacher to make up a sequence for them, taking into account their preferences. I sent my students a Yoga for the Spine home sequence that would be familiar and not too challenging. I also included links to yoga pose dictionaries.

Yogic Way of Life Yoga Asanas

Pocket Yoga Poses

Yoga Journal Pose Finder

Finally, if they can have a yoga buddy, that’s so helpful.

Malaika Bonafide of Ms. Bonafide Creations & Yoga with Malaika (Cambridge, MA)

Some of the tools I find helpful in my home practice are yoga blocks, which offer support. Think of the blocks as an extension of your reach. They can be used in downward facing dog under your hands or feet to bring the ground closer to you.

I also use a yoga strap, but an old tie will do the trick as well. You can use the tie in a seated forward fold as an extension of your hands as you reach for your feet/foot. Lasso the strap around your feet/foot pulling you closer.

Two face cloths or hand towels are helpful for padding under your knees if you tend to have knee pain or discomfort in your knees.

Be sure to listen to your body and know that everyday is different. And most importantly that yoga is a practice and most helpful if you practice as often as possible.

If you’re able to dedicate a space in your home to your practice, that’s awesome. If not, make sure that whatever space you do end up using for that moment is clean and free of clutter and work related items.

Turn off or silence distractions. Really dedicate this time to your self and your practice.

Meghan “Meg” Gaucher, Founder: Sweet Squeeze Events (Boston, MA)

There IS a home practice for everyone. Routine is important. The time you get on your mat matters. It will set you up for a good behavior to find your mat.

The space you set up is important. Find a quiet place where you can roll out your mat. Nothing fancy — just quiet and big enough to move up, down and around on your mat.

Susan Lovett, Founder: Hands To Heart Center (Boston, MA)

Don’t feel as if you have to do a daily 75-minute yoga class.

Maybe you’ll find 30 minutes or 20 or even 10 to move your body and breathe intentionally. Even a few minutes a day makes a difference, especially if you’re currently doing a lot of sitting or lying down. Sometimes, you’ll find that, once you start, you have more energy than you initially thought and you’ll want to keep going. Or not, Just do what you can.

Forget about setting up a perfect home yoga studio.

If you can clear a place on the floor and stand on something that’s not slippery, you’re good to go. It’s also a possibility to do some chair yoga. So, instead of stressing about having an immaculate, lovely setting,  just get started. Of course, you’ll want to make sure that you’re not bumping into any furniture – or anyone else’s body – but if you have some room to move, you’ll be fine.

Find an online teacher who’s a good fit for you.

There’s so much free, online yoga right now that you’ll have a lot of choices. If you start with one teacher and don’t feel inspired, you can choose someone else. You might not find your perfect match, but you’re likely to find someone whose voice and teaching style are appealing to you. I like Yoga with Adrienne and she has free online classes!

You can be your own teacher.

You might start seated with some breathing and grounding. Then, you could choose any ways to move your body that are useful and/or interesting to you. Don’t worry if you’re not doing “classical yoga poses” or seamless sequences. The essence of yoga is breath, movement and stillness, focused attention and deep rest. Be curious about what sensations you may feel in your body. Know that it doesn’t matter what your yoga looks like and focus, instead, on what you’re able to notice.

Don’t judge yourself.

In a home practice, you may feel less self-conscious than you might in a studio. Take advantage of making any sounds that would feel right to you. Give yourself permission to be goofy awkward, messy. Wear your most comfortable pajamas, if that’s your mood. It’s YOUR yoga, do what works for you.