A Post For My Mom

This is a picture of my mom from a Christmas past. I’m not sure which year, but it was probably at least 15 years ago.

Today would have been my mom’s 86th birthday, but she passed away this past October 25th. It’s still surreal to not have her around. To not be able to talk to her. We were so close.

Last year was especially difficult for my mom. She was in and out of the hospital and different rehab facilities. On repeat. But she always kept her same sense of humor through it all.

This past holiday season was the first one without her and the firsts without her will continue. I struggled to find this picture and to write a title for this post. I struggled to write her obituary.

It feels strange to write this blog post, because I haven’t blogged since May. When my father died, it was really hard. But I still had my mom. And that made a huge difference. Now they are both gone.

I still have my brother and lots of family and friends, so I’ve had a lot of support. But things will never be the same after losing both parents. I have a ton of wonderful memories and they instilled in me a love of life. So I’m looking forward to the next chapters of my life. But I’m still mourning the previous ones.

Plant Care 101: Getting Your Green Thumb

Plant Care 101

Guess who’s teaching another class? Me! Except this time, instead of teaching scone baking, I’m teaching plant care. Since I started selling plants, it seemed like a fun next step.

The class is with the Braintree Community Continuing Adult Education at Braintree High School.

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*Updated 5/22/2025*  Unfortunately not enough people signed up, so the class was cancelled.

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Image: Course Registration

A Jasmine Seedling: Understanding or Awe?

jasmine seedling

This morning when I looked into this pot, I noticed a new jasmine seedling. When did that happen?! The last time I checked, there was nothing. Then all of a sudden, new growth! I couldn’t figure it out and decided that it didn’t matter. Maybe I don’t need to understand. Instead, I can just be in awe.

Sometimes we cannot understand the how or why about certain situations. Maybe we will never understand. As someone who often performs mental gymnastics trying to figure things out, it’s exhausting.

It feels freeing to let it go. Giving myself permission to only observe and maybe enjoy the mystery without the understanding.

Revel in the miracle of it. Remove the analysis. As a Virgo lawyer, that’s extremely counterintuitive. But better for my mental health. Especially as we head into Round Two of the Trump Era. I cannot understand it. And as part of this country literally burns to the ground, the weight of it all is very heavy.

We are all born into a particular era. So apparently this is the timeline that I’m supposed to be in. Maybe I have something specific to contribute. Maybe I’m supposed to observe and learn. Probably a little bit of both.

January is coming to and end, but the year is still as fresh and new as this jasmine seedling. So I have to be open to what 2025 has in store. Future me knows and hopefully she’ll give me some guidance.

Recently Read: Mirrors in the Earth

This picture is from just a few weeks ago, and oh how things have changed! Now, most of the leaves are gone from the trees. A few leaves are still hanging on though.

A few months ago, I read an amazing book called Mirrors in the Earth, by Asia Suler. In that book, I learned that there is a word for this phenomenon called marcescence. What a beautiful sounding word!

As someone with many plants at home and who is always observing plants and trees in nature, I have often seen those few leaves, hanging on despite strong winds and wondered how they were still there. As I learned from the book and what I’ve seen in life, nature can be a funny thing.

Yes, sometimes comedic, but sometimes miraculous. Things that seem like they shouldn’t be, often are and continue to be. They persist and resist. Nature has the ability to heal itself. Not that all is well with Mother Earth.

As someone who often experiences eco-anxiety, because of climate change, I felt a great deal of relief and reassurance from reading her book. It’s the kind of book that I plan on reading again. Initially I borrowed it from the library, but I may buy it, so that I can refer to it over time.

Also, so that I can help support the author. She lives in North Carolina and her town suffered devastating losses after flooding from Hurricane Helene. For the past several years, I’ve purchased flower essences from her wonderful apothecary. Now it’s destroyed and under mud. It’s hard to comprehend this destruction.

But destruction also signifies birth. Every ending is another beginning. Sometimes “darkness is that of the womb and not the tomb,” as stated by Valarie Kaur. Some plants need the destruction of fire to flourish. Isn’t that amazing? When I first learned this many years ago, I was stunned.

Fires and floods have battered humanity since the beginning. But we’re still here. There are seasons for everything. A quote from Mirrors in the Earth, adds an additional perspective.

“Just like the hemlock perched between two boulders, we came into this world knowing how to live between a rock and a hard place, to straddle this gap between what is dying and what is being born. Open yourself to the bridge that you are, and we can all cross from one side of this torrent to another. This is not the end; it is the beginning. Who you are is the gift you were meant to bring to this Earth, and your presence here is exactly what is needed for this great rebirth.”

As we approach the second term of a presidency that so many of us do not want, it gives me some comfort to think that we are the people who are needed for this time.

Thoughts on Kindness

tulips bien venue kindness

Some of my favorite YouTube videos to watch are reaction videos. Specifically, learning about what people think about Americans when they visit the United States for the first time. Overwhelming kindness is what many people experience.

As much as we complain about our country being divided and sometimes feeling that everything is awful, especially after watching the news, there is a lot of good. Video after video after video, I have seen that same reaction. How when people arrive here, Americans are smiling, chatting them up, giving compliments and actually kind of freaking people out. They usually think it’s fake at first, but then after awhile, they realize that it’s just part of American culture. And they like it.

Obviously, Americans aren’t always kind. And some people are so used to being treated badly, they cannot even fathom it. A recent Boston Globe Opinion piece called “The pharmacist and the amaryllis” shook me to the core.

A pharmacist had done a great job helping the writer cut through some red tape and got her insurance company to cover the needed medication. As a thank you, she bought an amaryllis plant to give the pharmacist. But the gift and thank you weren’t received as hoped. The pharmacist couldn’t comprehend the kindness and thought she was in trouble. Below is a portion from the piece.

“Though I was not there, I was the medication recipient and the patient in question. A few weeks later, recovered, I bought an amaryllis plant and brought it to the pharmacy drop-off window. When I asked for the pharmacist by name, the tech looked a little worried. The woman who emerged from the back looked even more worried.

I explained that she had helped to resolve a medical mess a month earlier, that it had required enormous effort, and that I wanted to give her the plant in appreciation. Immediately, her eyes grew a little glazed and fearful.

“I took care of that,” she said quickly. “It won’t happen again.”

“No,” I said, “I’m here to thank you.”

But she couldn’t absorb the thanks. As the public face of insurance noncoverage, delays for prescriptions that were never called in, long waiting lines, unreasonable copayments, and medication side effects that no one explains, she had been trained into a different expectation. It was clear that she was waiting for someone to yell at her.”

After reading this, I thought about the pharmacist. What her days must be like with such constant fear. I hope she can experience a steady stream of kindness. So she can recognize it, when she sees it.