This is a favorite photo of my father and I. It was taken about 25 years ago or so.
The day of my last post on this blog was March 11th. It was also the last day that I saw my father alive. We had a family dinner with my mother and brother. He seemed very tired, but I had no idea that he would be gone so soon after. He died on March 14th.
I’ve gone through such an array of emotions since then. Shock, disbelief and sadness being the biggest. I wrote the obituary and the eulogy, which I delivered at his funeral last Saturday.
He lived to 85, very close to turning 86. He had a very full life and 85 is a good age, but I still feel like it was too soon and I wasn’t ready.
I appreciate that I have so many good memories of him and that I got to spend so much of my life with him. I was blessed to have him as my father and I’ve blogged about him several times.
There was a post about his favorite birthday cake, a tour that we took of Turkey Shore Distilleries, a lovely card that he sent me right before Father’s Day, and his being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He even wrote a guest post at one point.
A lot of what I have been thinking about is how glad I am for the times that we spent together.
This is definitely a new era of my life. I have never lost someone so close to me. It’s an adjustment and I have to learn how to think of myself and “just be” without a living father. I’m still trying to find my way. I guess it’s a lifelong journey.