Month: March 2024

Thoughts on Kindness

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tulips bien venue kindness

Some of my favorite YouTube videos to watch are reaction videos. Specifically, learning about what people think about Americans when they visit the United States for the first time. Overwhelming kindness is what many people experience.

As much as we complain about our country being divided and sometimes feeling that everything is awful, especially after watching the news, there is a lot of good. Video after video after video, I have seen that same reaction. How when people arrive here, Americans are smiling, chatting them up, giving compliments and actually kind of freaking people out. They usually think it’s fake at first, but then after awhile, they realize that it’s just part of American culture. And they like it.

Obviously, Americans aren’t always kind. And some people are so used to being treated badly, they cannot even fathom it. A recent Boston Globe Opinion piece called “The pharmacist and the amaryllis” shook me to the core.

A pharmacist had done a great job helping the writer cut through some red tape and got her insurance company to cover the needed medication. As a thank you, she bought an amaryllis plant to give the pharmacist. But the gift and thank you weren’t received as hoped. The pharmacist couldn’t comprehend the kindness and thought she was in trouble. Below is a portion from the piece.

“Though I was not there, I was the medication recipient and the patient in question. A few weeks later, recovered, I bought an amaryllis plant and brought it to the pharmacy drop-off window. When I asked for the pharmacist by name, the tech looked a little worried. The woman who emerged from the back looked even more worried.

I explained that she had helped to resolve a medical mess a month earlier, that it had required enormous effort, and that I wanted to give her the plant in appreciation. Immediately, her eyes grew a little glazed and fearful.

“I took care of that,” she said quickly. “It won’t happen again.”

“No,” I said, “I’m here to thank you.”

But she couldn’t absorb the thanks. As the public face of insurance noncoverage, delays for prescriptions that were never called in, long waiting lines, unreasonable copayments, and medication side effects that no one explains, she had been trained into a different expectation. It was clear that she was waiting for someone to yell at her.”

After reading this, I thought about the pharmacist. What her days must be like with such constant fear. I hope she can experience a steady stream of kindness. So she can recognize it, when she sees it.

Recently Watched: Paris Blues

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Paris Blues

Some movies are such American classics, that we assume everyone has seen them. But that’s not always the case. Just this year was the first time that I saw The Sting, with Paul Newman and Robert Redford. How could that be? I just never got around to it.

After seeing it, I know why it’s a classic. Wow! I loved it! I still haven’t seen Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid — another Newman and Redford classic. That will be remedied soon!

But last night, I saw Paris Blues. It’s a lesser known film than the others and doesn’t include Robert Redford. But it has gigantic star power nonetheless. With Paul Newman, Joanne Woodward, Sidney Poitier, Diahann Carroll, Louis Armstrong and music by Duke Ellington, I was surprised that I hadn’t heard about this movie until recently.

Paris Blues is a romantic drama from 1961, in black and white, yet has a modern feel. With all the music, dancing and romance, it made me wonder why nobody has ever done a remake. I could definitely see it.

In the beginning, Paul Newman’s character is after Diahann Carroll’s character. However, the movie wasn’t that modern and took the more predictable route. After all, interracial marriage was still illegal in parts of the country. Loving v. Virginia wouldn’t be decided until six years later in 1967.

What adds another layer to Paris Blues are the real life romances happening with both couples. Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward were already married to each other. Sidney Poitier and Diahann Carroll were both married to other people, but having an affair. So this must have been an interesting movie set!

Paris looks very gritty in the film, possibly depicting how it looked before being fully rebuilt after the war. Yet the charm remained. The music is wonderful, but it’s still kind of a quiet slice of life film that feels like current independent cinema.

What also feels modern is the issue of race. Both couples are American. Carroll and Woodward’s characters are friends visiting Paris for a two week vacation. Newman and Poitier’s characters are expat jazz musicians. Carroll and Poitier’s characters talk about racism back home and how he doesn’t want to return to the degradation he has to suffer as a Black man. But she says that someone has to stay and fight. Unfortunately, in reality, the fight remains.

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Screenshot: IMDb

Brookline’s Attempt to Prevent Smoking

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designated smoking area sign

A few weeks ago, I was watching a YouTube video about Americans visiting France. One of the hints for Americans was to not be surprised by a lot of people smoking cigarettes. And further, not to complain when encountering it, because it’s a cultural difference.

I was a bit surprised and wondered just how much more the French smoke compared to Americans. According to World Population Review, 34.6% of people living in France smoke as opposed to 24.3% of people living in the United States. That is a pretty big difference.

Maybe we have more restrictions here on where people are allowed to smoke? I would think by now, that most people all over the world know the dangers of cigarette smoking. But it’s possible that the dangers have been more publicized here because of tobacco litigation.

Smoking never appealed to me. My mom used to smoke and I remember waking up to the smell of it. I hated it. I tried smoking once and didn’t like the taste of it either. My mom eventually quit smoking and I’m sure that it’s added many years to her life.

Since so many of us are on board with not smoking, getting people to never start smoking is key. It’s so much harder to quit later.

Here in Massachusetts, the town of Brookline went next level with their attempt to prevent people from smoking. The sale of tobacco is not allowed to anyone born on or after January 1, 2000. The ordinance went into effect in 2021 and was upheld by the state’s highest court. So other cities and towns in Massachusetts could soon do the same to limit the sale of tobacco. This tobacco ban is apparently the first of its kind in the country.

I’m not sure if this is the start of a trend, but I would be surprised if it remains the only locality to try this. It will be interesting to see if and how soon other places may follow.

And for those young smoking tourists from France, if you visit Brookline, you’ll have to get used to the cultural difference.

Time, Seasons + Planks

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pocket watches telling time

So did you enjoy having that extra day last month? But then miss the hour we lost last night? Thinking about both changes in time makes life feel more arbitrary and random than usual.

In the natural world around us, we see the seasons change before our eyes. But the way humans interpret and manipulate time is based on the choices of very few people. The rest of us just go along with it.

I’ve always liked the idea of Leap Years and enjoy having more light in the evenings once Daylight Saving Time begins. But it is odd when you really think about it. Time is a social construct.

Time is also our most valuable resource, precisely because none of us knows how much we actually have. It is so precious. So how do we want to spend it?

If more of us thought deeply about this, I think we might choose to spend our time differently. The more time we get in life, the greater our appreciation for good health.

I’ve been making many changes over the years to improve my health, both physically and mentally. The latest tiny change that I’ve started is doing a daily plank. Like the late great RBG.

Once I blog something, I have a greater chance of sticking to it. So here it is! My goal is to do at least one plank every day for the rest of my life! And be able to keep increasing the time I can hold it.

Along with my language learning goals, it will be interesting to see changes over the next few months and years. This is another post to look back on and follow-up!