life

Baby Boxes Coming to America?

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Recently, I was watching a reaction video where American parents react to a video about baby boxes received by all expecting parents in Scotland. The boxes are amazing!

They include clothing, toys, books, swaddles, thermometers, a mattress, sheets and much more. The box itself can even be used as a bed for the baby if needed.

The baby box idea first started in Finland. It’s shocking that governments in so many other countries support new parents in ways that don’t happen here. Much of it is because we don’t have guaranteed health care in the United States, but that’s another post. More support needs to be given to parents, especially with the increasing assault on reproductive rights in this country. Again, another post.

I was so intrigued by this idea of baby boxes, that I was curious if there might be something like that here. Surprisingly, the answer is yes. The Biden-Harris Administration realizes that families need more support and recognized that other countries have some good ideas on how to do that.

“Today, basic newborn supplies like diapers can cost an average of $1,000 a year for each diapered child in a home In addition, nearly 1 in 8 women – regardless of age, income, or race – will suffer from some form of postpartum anxiety or depression, a number that is on the rise for women in America. Further, mental health conditions now comprise 23% of pregnancy-related deaths – more than any other single category.

In an effort to alleviate some of these stressors on new families, governments in at least 91 other countries and municipalities offer new families a “Baby Box” upon the birth of a child. In addition to offering much-needed physical goods, these baby boxes are designed to offer critical postpartum care information and to promote increased interactions between parents and their healthcare providers.”

In May 2023, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) announced a pilot program in collaboration with Baby2Baby, a nonprofit organization. The program provides Newborn Supply Kits to new mothers.

“The Newborn Supply Kits consist of more than 20 items including diapers and wipes, clothing, hygiene items, blankets and thermometers for newborns, and postpartum pads, lotion, cold packs, breastfeeding supplies, and carriers for new moms. HHS and Baby2Baby will first distribute 3,000 of the Newborn Supply Kits across Arkansas, Louisiana, and New Mexico – three states experiencing deep levels of family poverty – via hospitals and community-based partner organizations. Any mother giving birth during pilot implementation at one of the partner sites will be eligible to receive a kit.”

The intent is for the program to expand with a focus on addressing the maternal health crisis. “We need bold solutions that recognize and respond to the unacceptable disparities in maternal health outcomes in this country,” said HRSA Administrator Carole Johnson. “Through this new funding, health centers will be able to tailor their response to the needs of their patients and communities and take action to save lives.”

As we move further into 2024, more information will be available about how the program is doing and plans for expansion. This kind of help for new families is long overdue and I’m looking forward to learning more about it!

Quote of the Week: Joseph Campbell

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“We must be willing to get rid of
the life we’ve planned, so as to have
the life that is waiting for us.”

                                                                                                  ~ Joseph Campbell

People Do Change

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change

With 2024 just a hop, skip and a jump away, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’m hoping for in the new year. Thinking about these goals means change. Changing what I’ve been doing, so I can get different results.

“If you always do what you’ve always done, you always get what you’ve always gotten.”

This quote and similar ones have been attributed to many people, including Jessie Potter, Jackie “Moms” Mabley and Albert Einstein. We may never know the truth of exactly who said exactly what, but the essence of this quote resonates with many people.

It all comes down to change. We can’t keep repeating what we’ve done in the past, if we want something new in the future.

When I was young, I remember always hearing people say, “People don’t change.” The older that I’ve gotten, I’ve come to realize that there is a lot of nuance to this saying with a few themes.

You Can’t Make People Change

One level of the saying that people don’t change is sort of true. What is most true would be to say, “You can’t make people change.” This is so absolutely painfully true. No matter how much we try and want to change someone, if they aren’t willing, there is nothing we can do.

We have to learn to let it go and maybe they can decide to change on their own. Whether we want to wait around and see if they change is up to each individual. Depending on what changes are needed and how they impact our lives, it might be best to make a change of our own and remove ourselves from their life.

Life Will Change You

In a way, it’s rather quaint to think that people don’t change. Even if we don’t want to change, things will happen to us over time that we could never expect. Accidents, illness and time will change us. They will definitely change our physical bodies.

Nobody stays young forever. Even if you are lucky enough to never deal with any accidents or illness, if you live to be 85 years old, your body will be different than when you are 35 years old. There will be many changes.

If you win the lottery, get a big promotion, get married and have children, you will change. The circumstances of your life will be different and usually it’s impossible to stay the same. A “new you” will be born. Our minds and ways of thinking will change and we adapt.

This reminds me of a post that I saw recently on Arielle Lorre‘s Instagram. I don’t follow her, so this just randomly came up in my feed and was quite serendipitous. Because I can be a worrier and need to find ways to stop. Below is what she says.

“I had a clinical psychologist on my podcast, who shared the best advice for worry that I’ll never forget. She said, ‘The version of you that will handle that tough thing – if or when it happens – will be born into existence in that moment … trust your future self to handle future problems.'”

The comments on her Instagram post are mixed. Some believe it and others say that sometimes that future self cannot handle those problems and are broken by them. I can’t argue with them, because sometimes life is too much and people literally die.

But also, sometimes we do rise to meet seemingly impossible circumstances. Over the past few years, I’ve dealt with a lot more than I thought I could. At 59 years old, I am a very different person than I was at 29 years old. That version of me was not ready to handle what I’ve handled over the past few years. And I’m so glad that she didn’t have to.

Live & Learn

This is sort of similar to life changing you. Through our life experiences we learn new things and sometimes realize that we were wrong. Maybe we were wrong about lots of things and can’t do much or anything to change the past. If we can seek forgiveness and make amends for what we’ve done, maybe we should, depending on what that entails. But that is very hard and can cause pain for ourselves and maybe others too.

Sometimes all we can do is accept what we’ve done and strive to do better in the future. I think this is something that most of us will go through at one time or another. If we weren’t the one that did wrong, we may have been the one who was wronged. Then we have to decide how to proceed if someone apologizes and seeks forgiveness from us.

We get to decide how to move forward. It took me a long time to truly realize that I’m the boss of me and act accordingly. I wish that I had known sooner. It now seems obvious. But over the years, I’ve realized how often I did not behave like I was the boss of my life.

I’m glad that I’ve had the ability to self-reflect, keep learning and change — often on my own terms. I’m grateful for what my past self was able to do to get me to the present. And I’ll trust in my future self to handle the rest.

What’s Needed at Food Banks

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charitable organizations

The holiday season through the end of the year is when many charitable organizations are seeking donations. It’s also when many people want to support organizations whose missions they especially believe in.

One of my favorite organizations is Globe Santa and I’ve supported them for decades. They deliver holiday gifts to children in need. All children should feel the joy and delight of receiving at least one gift of their own.

Many of us also support food banks. I read an interesting post on LinkedIn written by Marco T. Lindsey about what people really need at food banks. His list started a conversation in the comments that also gave some good ideas. I didn’t read all of the comments, but I’ve noted some takeaways below.

MONEY: Money is the best thing to give. Food banks can best decide what they need. They need the means to buy it and may have discounted rates for purchases.

ASK: If you’d rather not give a monetary donation, look at the organization’s website and see if they have a list of particular items that they need. You could also contact them directly to find out what they need right now. The website list could possibly be out of date.

WASTE: A lot of donated food goes to waste and cannot be used. If it’s expired, it will be thrown away. One thing that I was surprised to learn when I volunteered at a food bank was that dented cans were thrown away. If a can was dented, then the integrity of the can was in question and the food might not be safe. I’m not sure if that is still the case or if all food banks abide by this rule, but it’s something to keep in mind.

One comment, shown below, that I found particularly insightful was by Sheila Freeman.

“As someone who has worked and volunteered for nonprofit organizations for over twenty years, there is one thing from your list you left off. Food banks only allow people/families to get food that will last for a week once a month, no exception. If you have kids they will eat this food in one day. The other thing heard staff who run these ministries say “if these people are hungry, they should take what we give them.” People who donates food have no ideal these are the policies in place when serving those in the communities. Another issue is these speciality bread shops give bread, a good variety in the donation, and anyone that buys it knows it is expensive but the food pantries throws away because it’s not bagged to last long, so much of it goes into the trash.”

I’m not sure that what she says applies to all food banks, but apparently at least some of them. And that makes sense that the bagged bread might end up going to waste.

It’s such a shame. Food waste is a huge problem in this country. It’s a double shame that so many people are in need of food at the same time that it is being thrown away.

A Few Unexpected Things

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I’m so happy that I finally have this book! For the last few months, I kept hearing about Before the Coffee Gets Cold, by Toshikazu Kawaguchi and wanted to read it. I put it on hold at the library and it came in much sooner than expected. I just started reading it and was immediately pulled in with the first page. A very good sign!

So often things are unexpected and bad. When they’re unexpected and good, that’s the best.

That’s been happening with some plants. Overall, I have a green thumb and do extremely well with most plants. Except for a few. Two plants in particular that everyone always says are so easy to grow were never easy for me. Years ago I gave up on African violets and snake plants. I tried so many times and they always died. But now, I’m apparently a snake plant charmer and working magic with African violets too. Very unexpected!

Two movies that I watched recently had the exact opposite effects on me than expected. Part of it may have been that my expectations were too high for one and super low for the other.

When I first heard about the movie Past Lives, I wanted to see it immediately. It sounded perfect! A friend and I had planned to see it in the theater when it first came out. We could never get our schedules to work together and we missed seeing it.

Now it’s on Amazon Prime, so I watched it last week. I was disappointed. It wasn’t bad, but I expected to love it. It was somewhat slow, with some long drawn out scenes that didn’t need to be and started to feel tedious. I was glad to have not seen it in the theater. Further, the people that I wanted to end up together did not. It’s a love story that kind of broke my heart.

Also, somewhere in my mind, because of the title maybe, I was thinking time travel or magical realism, which are two of my favorite genres. It had neither. That’s on me. But it was a further disappointment.

The other movie, Meet Cute, is also on Amazon Prime. I think I found it on a list of good time travel movies. It stars Pete Davidson and Kaley Cuoco. I didn’t know much about her, except for that she was on The Big Bang Theory, which I watched a handful of times.

As for him, I enjoyed his SNL skits and hosting, but never understood all the woman flocking to him. What’s the deal!? I heard it’s just that he’s a really nice guy. He has a kind of sweet charm and magnetism that his role in this movie displayed.

Again, my expectations for this movie were very low, but I enjoyed it. There was actual time travel! It was the time loop variety like in Groundhog Day. I always find it interesting to see how the loop will end. The movie was different than I expected and gave Before Sunrise vibes, with lovely views of New York City.

So much in life is about managing expectation. Maybe it’s best to expect very little. But I always feel like that’s a negative way to be. Is it better to be delighted when not expecting much? I don’t know. That surprise is nice, but when you’re expecting a lot and manage to get even more, that’s the dream. I guess putting up with some disappointment is part of the deal.

Maybe it’s best to find a balance between the two and be somewhat neutral. Last week I bought some dollar scratch tickets from soda can deposit money. ‘Tis the season for holiday miracles and you have to be in it to win it!

I won five dollars on one of them. I reinvested and got a five dollar scratch ticket today. I wasn’t sure which one to get, so I asked for one that won a lot. A guy behind me said, “If it wins a lot, it won’t be there!”

Sheesh. I didn’t say anything and figured I’d leave it up to chance. I won twenty dollars! Unexpected! Time to reinvest!